What's Wrong With A Porn Star
by Lords of Defenestration
Summary: He was an average boy. Had an average life, an average girlfriend, an average job. Everything was average. Until he met Axel, a not so average red head, with a not so average job, and a not so average interest in Roxas. AU/OOC Akuroku


Disclaimer: Characters used throughout this story belong only to Square-Enix and Disney. MEANING, we don't own them, they are not ours. The end.

**NOTE; **READ THINGS AS THEY ARE WRITTEN, THAT'S WHY THEY ARE WRITTEN THAT WAY! WE MEAN TO USE CHAT SPEAK, **GOT IT!**

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**Chapter One; I Let That Man Drive Me Home**

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"Cheese… no cheese? Okay, sauce? N-no sauce? Okay… extra jalapenos? Not baked? A-are you sure…? Is this a prank call?" So, my second day on the job and I was already getting disgusting orders. It made my stomach churn at the thought of just how awful that pizza would taste. Then again, all pizza sounded awful to me now. After only two days I had already grown a huge dislike for the 'Italian', quotation marks needed, food. I smelled like cheese and olives, my hair stuck to parts of my face after only seconds of entering the kitchen to post an order, and I was stuck dealing with rude customers who thought it was my fault they had chosen the diet soda, when I'd only given them the cup. Plus, if you ask me, they kind of needed that diet soda.

At the reply that no, it wasn't a prank call, I grudgingly told them that they could pick up their pizza in twenty minutes and hung up the phone.

"Roxas!" I snapped my head up at the mention of my name from my boss Ansem. It was a family owned business oh so cleverly named 'Ansem's Pizza Parlor'.

"Yes?" I asked, lifting my eyes up at the man.

"I need you to run deliveries. The pizzas are already on the scooter."

The mention of the scooter seemed ominous. I didn't want to be one of those dorky pizza delivery boys, but the job paid, so I couldn't just tell my boss no. Besides… not like I really cared who saw me.

So, I set out to the first location on the scooter, feeling liberated by the wind slapping my face until I actually remember that I was riding a fucking pizza scooter and mashing my hair into one of those stupid hats with the pizza parlor's name scrawled across it. And I was pretty sure there was pizza sauce on my face.

It had to do such _wonders_ for my skin.

The address got closer, some sleazy apartment building that made me kind of concerned to enter because of the types of diseases I could get from touching a doorknob. Wait, no just from breathing the air. I snickered at the thought of the gross, fat bastard sitting in his apartment waiting for his pizza. It was just great that my first scooter delivery was to a slimy place like this.

I parked the scooter, stuffing the keys into my pocket, and grabbed the two pizzas that had been ordered.

Tapping my foot, I pressed the button for the apartment number 469 and waited to be buzzed up.

"_Hello?"_

"Uhm… Ansem's Pizza Parlor, for all your cheesy dreams, pizza delivery?"

The man, I assumed it was a man by the deep tone of voice, if I wasn't so straight I'd find it kind of sexy, chuckled, making me grow red in a mix of anger and embarrassment. Not like I chose the fucking catch phrase, or especially wanted to say it. Regardless, he buzzed me in, I could have saved myself some time by using the elevator, but I had decided on the stairs once I looked at the risky thing and found I wouldn't want to die because of an elevator crushing me.

So, four flights of stairs later I found myself in front of the door labeled 469, rapping my knuckles against the cheap wood. I bitterly scorned the lazy bastard that was probably too fat to pick up his pizza.

Until the door popped open and I saw the man that made me feel like an insignificant gross pizza delivery boy.

He had spiky red hair, not that red that actually orange, but red like flames. The jeans he was wearing were threatening to fall off his hips, and he wore no shirt. His skin was pale, but not that gross pale, more like… creamy white.

Oh god… he was like every girls dream.

The man leaned against the door frame, making me feel like a total ass for thinking the pose was kind of hot, in a totally hetero way. I didn't find it attractive, no. Just was jealous, I could never pull a pose like that and get away with it without everyone laughing and calling me a geek.

"How much… Roxas?"

I blinked in horror at him knowing my name. Maybe he was a psychic or something. Still, I stood there speechless, gaping at him.

"Your name tag?" He said questioningly, "Or is it Rox-ass?"

And now he was a fucking mind reader! A mean one at that.

"The first one was right." I replied in a dull voice, "And it's $25.39."

He grinned at me like the Cheshire Cat and pulled out a thin wallet from his pocket. This gave me time to study him more closely. The tattoos on his face should have made him look like a total loser, but somehow it added to his effect of being… totally badass.

But something… made me feel like I had seen him before. I just couldn't place where. "You look really familiar."

He looked up from counting his money and smirked, "I get that a lot."

I raised an eyebrow, not sure what that meant and accepted the money he gave me, quickly counting it. "A ten dollar tip? Seriously?" This utterly surprised me, for the biggest tip I had gotten was 76 cents and a lifesaver candy. Granted, I had only been working for a little while, but… still, I thought I was good at my job.

Red head grinned at me, "Well, you're pretty cute. If I didn't already have company, I'd totally show you a great time." At that, he winked, "Names Axel. But I bet you already knew that."

The first part of his speech was temporarily set aside as I asked, "Why would I know you're name?" And then the rest of what he said processed. My cheeks burned red with what _was_ anger.

Axel started closing the door after grabbing his pizzas from my arms. "No need to be shy, Roxy." And with that he shut the door in my face.

For a second I stood there gapping, before pocketing my well earned tip and remembering I was still working and that I had to get back or my boss would hurt me in unfathomable ways.

…Not really. But I did like a source of income.

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"That took awhile Roxas." My boss greeted me once I made it back to work.

I mentally rolled my eyes, "Err… Sorry. Tough customer." This technically wasn't a lie, that Axel guy was weird. After a few seconds of eyeing me, my boss sighed, telling me to go to work at the register.

And my night continued with me at the register until it was finally the end of my shift and I set out on my walk to my apartment. Me and my girlfriend's apartment that is.

Twenty-one years old and I was already living with a girl, I'd say I was doing pretty well for myself, despite my job.

The walk was only about ten minutes from my house so, needless to say, it didn't take me long.

The minute I stepped in the door Truffles was already at my feet. Truffles was our cat. Namine found him at a pet store one day and _had_ to have him. It wasn't till later, after she named him, that we realized he was a boy. I tried to persuade Nami to give him a more masculine name, but I lost that battle rather quickly.

Truffles rubbed against my leg, pestering me for attention, as I moved towards the kitchen where my beauty queen girlfriend was studying.

Okay, so she might not have won any beauty competitions, but it's only because she didn't enter any. Honestly, she could win hands down and I'm not just saying that 'cause she's my girlfriend, she really was rather gorgeous. I was lucky to have a girl like her.

"Hey Rox, how was work?"

"Bizarre, I swear some people have to have a stomach of steal."

Namine really was a sweet girl. I met her back in sophomore year. We had art together, along with history and science. And we just clicked. What started out as a study session turned into an actually relationship.

"Do I even want to know?"

I shook my head. "Probably not." I walked over to the fridge, pulled open the door, and scanned the contents inside. Milk, frozen pizza, yogurt, juice, ketchup, mayo, and some sandwich meat. However, we had no bread. I mean… I guess one could use the pizza as a bre- okay that would be sickening. I turned towards the blonde. "What do you want to eat?"

She looked up from her books. "Anything but pizza."

"Agreed. So… how about… uh…"

Nami began to laugh. "Oh sounds delicious."

I let out a small laugh in return to her, making a mental note to go to the market together that weekend because of our desperate need for food in our fridge.

"We could go out?" I offered, having already finished my own college work before I had gone to work that day, so I could use a night out with my girlfriend, I decided.

Namine raised an eyebrow, probably confused as to why I was saying we should go out, considering I'd stay inside if I could. "Well, I did just finish my work, so anywhere you want to go?"

I shook my head, "Anything you want."

By the grin on her face I realized that option had been a very bad idea.

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An hour of primping later, Namine's primping that is, while all I had to do was take a shower and change my clothes so that I didn't smell like cheese, we headed out. I took her to some small French restaurant… that she picked.

Namine and I worked. I was a failure at being romantic, so she understood that and didn't expect much. It had to be a match made in heaven, especially considering how much of an angel she was.

After the calming dinner… she made us go to a club. I hated clubs for quite a few reasons. Too loud, too many people, and how many time I got ID checked. Just because I looked like I was under twenty-one, did _not_ give them the right to mock me like that. But… to make her happy I went with her to the club, and after a fight about my age at the door we had gotten in. Nami found a table then sent me to go order drinks. I let out a small sigh at the thought of shoving through gross, sweaty drunk people, but I just had to look into her big blue eyes and I decided, automatically, that it was worth it.

It took me about five minutes to even reach the bar, with all the people moving around. The music was already beginning to give me a headache. I sat myself in one of the empty bar stools while I waited for the bartender to finish making someone else's drinks. Clubs had terrible service, but finally he got to me and eyed me down. "ID?" I wanted to punch him in the face and tell him that without ID proof of my age I wouldn't have even been able to get in the stupid club. Instead I just pulled out my ID from my wallet and handed it to him. He still looked unsure, but handed it back to me. "What will it be?" He finally asked.

"An Absinthe Martini and a 187 Urge."

He nodded, but before I could get my money out to pay, another hand slid in front of me and paid the bartender. I didn't look up until I heard the words, "Drinks on me." Then in confusion I shot a look up into piercing emerald eyes and almost let out a squeak.

He didn't seem to recognize me, but I knew for a fact it was the guy from the apartment earlier. No one could forget red hair like that.

"Hey, thanks but I'd feel bad, let me pay you back I-" I stopped talking when he let out a soft chuckle. I really, really hoped he didn't think I was gay or anything. But, by the looks of it, he did and he wasn't afraid to show which team he was batting for.

"There's one way you can pay me back." He replied with a hint of a smirk on his lips. I gulped.

You know those sequences in movies where everything gets all slow and all you can hear is the 'thump-thump' of a heart beat. It was like that, only the thump was actually just my pounding headache and the slowness was just how slow my brain was processing what he said.

I opened my mouth like a dead-fish to form a reply when I felt soft arms hug my waste from behind. I had to bite my tongue to not let out a relieved sigh. Namine always saved the day.

"Roxas, you left twenty minutes ago, what could take so long?" I glanced at the pissed off red head beside me and gave a small shrug.

"Sorry Nami, erm… got caught up talking to… this guy here. He bought our drinks, heh, but I'd feel bad knowing he did."

He eyed Namine, making me in turn feel a little pissed off that while she was the most beautiful thing in the world he looked at her like she was a piece of garbage.

The soft clicks of our drinks signaled the bartender had finally finished and we could get back to our table, however, Namine had other plans as she pulled herself into the stool beside me and smiled at Axel, or I think that was his name. God, it was awkward to get hit on twice by the same guy in the same night and not have him remember you either time.

"Thank you." Namine told him, smiling bright and taking a small sip of her drink. "I'm Namine."

He still looked pissed, but he seemed to calm a little. "You're Roxy's sister?"

I blinked. He had never asked me my name this time, and I wasn't wearing my name tag. So the asshole did remember me. I gave a small roll of my eyes.

"She's my girlfriend, _Axel_."

Namine seemed lost and I couldn't really blame her.

"Hmm? So you remember me?"

Shit. This just made things like twenty times more awkward for me. Axel was smirking and I really wished that I had taken the job as a dog groomer rather than work in the pizza parlor. But… with my luck the attractive red head had a poodle or something named Spike. Oh god, the mental picture in my mind was priceless. He would probably put a chain collar on the poodle and give him a shave like with the hair only on the feet and tip of the tail.

"Er… of course. It's a policy, remember all your customers." Total bullshit, that would be an impossible task with how m any people came in every day. But it wasn't like he could disprove this fact, considering. And we _did_ have some pretty weird policies. I'm still wondering who made us have to get the one of 'no eating the cooking utensils' and quite frankly, I don't want to know.

I took a large chug of my drink, wanting to get impaired just so I wouldn't have to deal with such an awkward conversation. But, just as I thought things couldn't get worse, Namine looked up from a text on her phone and let out a gasp.

"Sorry, Roxas, Kairi… Sora just broke up with her so I'm going to swing by her place, probably for the night. I have to take the car but… since you and… uhm… Assel know each other, he can give you a ride, right?"

If it weren't for the situation I would have laughed at how she pronounced Axel. It was cute, and really rather funny. To bad Axel didn't seem even half as amused as I was. Pfft.

However his look changed to a smirk almost instantly. "Course I can give him a ride. You hurry on and help your friend."

I felt like shooting myself after she kissed my cheek and started heading for the exit. I wanted to ask her not to go but… not even I was that big of an ass to not let her comfort her sister. I would have bagged to go with, but it was a known fact that Kairi hated me. No one knew why, apparently I just pushed her buttons. Hard to be calm when talking about that girl though.

Once Namine was out of sight, Axel wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "How about I give you the ride of your life?"

I quickly shoved him away with a furious glare, "Can't you back off? I'm straight! And I have a girlfriend!"

Instead of kicking the shit out of me like I expected he would do, he just chuckled. "I like a challenge."

And then there was that smirk. I wanted to punch him in the face, yet at the same time I could see why a girl would want him. What I didn't understand was why he wanted me. He could have any one in the club and he was hitting on me. I couldn't list all my faults because there wasn't enough time in the time span continuum. And yet, he wanted me. But, I didn't want him. I wanted Namine and I already had her, I didn't ever need anything more.

"Let me say it once more. You an me, never going to happen. I've been with Nami since tenth grade, and I'm twenty-one now. Nothing has gotten between us, okay? And I'm straight as a line."

"So is spaghetti noodles until you heat 'em up." I turned a dark shade of red. I'm not sure if it was anger or embarrassment or both, all I knew was this man was a total jackass. "But let me ask you something," he continued, "If you've been together so long, why aren't you married? Pfft, I bet you haven't even had sex yet."

Shocked I just stared. It took me about two minutes to formulate a reply. "… we're not ready for either of those things yet, thank you very much."

Now it was his turn to look shocked. "So you're a virgin?" I could see the amusement start to shine in his eyes.

I could feel my face heating up like a volcano. "What's it to you?"

He started flat out laughing, which did _not_ please me. Now, I haven't hit on many people, but I'm pretty sure when you are trying to pick a person up it is not in your best interest to laugh at them. "Honestly? Well, Roxy, you have just made things a _lot_ more interesting."

My jaw literally dropped. Was the guy really that thick? How many times did I have to say no? Left speechless, I chugged the rest of my drink. Raised with manners I turned to the red head thanking him for the drinks before I left the bar and began to stagger to the door.

"H-hey, where are you going?" Axel said running up behind me.

"Home." I was beyond done with the asshole. Just because he was attractive doesn't mean he could pull the crap he was trying to pull and get away with it.

"I thought I was driving you. How do you intend to get home without me?"

I didn't bother to even look at him while I relied automatically, "Cab."

He grabbed my arm to stop me. "Roxy, I-"

I quickly jerked my arm away, "I don't want your fucking ride and I don't want you!" I nearly screamed, causing people around us to stop and stare, as if it were and of their business. People needed to just fuck off and stay where they belonged.

I walked out the doors, leaving Axel alone inside.

The cab was honestly a good idea… well, if there were any cab companies near by or if I even knew the number to call to request one.

After about seven or so minutes of standing alone outside in the cold, Axel walked out. "Wanna ride?"

I turned to glare at the red head. If my house wasn't nearly five miles away I would have walked. However, being as it was late and I'm alone, a five mile walk wasn't that appealing. But I had pride. There for accepting the offer right away was not an option. Couldn't seem desperate or anything. "I try my best to avoid rides with strangers, especially ones that are assholes, sorry."

He let out a chuckle and shook his head. I was getting quite tired of his laugh, even if it was slightly sexy. Sexy?! I did not just think a man's laugh was sexy? Maybe the alcohol really was starting to take affect. Yeah… that had to be it. "You're not going to find a cab around her and I don't suppose you live in walking distance."

What was with the 'know it all' attitude? Who's to say I didn't live in walking distance? So what if I wouldn't call a cab if I could walk home. Maybe I could walk home and just thought a cab would be nice for once… or something.

"So, why don't you just except the ride?"

I continued to glare at him, saying nothing.

He ran his had through his hair. "Come on, a pretty boy like you is just beggin' to get jumped in a dark ally. So, one ride with me kind of beats the alternative, don't you think?"

"And why should I trust you?" I asked bitterly.

"What other choice do you have? Besides, it's not like I'm going to take you home and rape you. I much prefer my partners willing. So…?"

I let out a sigh. Wishing for the first time in my life that I had befriended Kairi. "Fine."

He led me to his car, which was surprisingly a lot nicer than I had expected it to be, with how sleazy the place he lived appeared. He even opened the door for me. Leaving me to believe he had at least some manners. I then gave him my address and he started the car.

The trip was mostly silent. Making sitting in the car with a 'know it all' bastard nearly bearable.

It wasn't too much longer before we reached my apartment building and he stopped the car. I had my hand on the door handle as he began to say my name. "Roxas I-" Before he could finish the sentence I was already shutting the car door in his face and walking towards my apartment, pulling out my keys.

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"I'm sorry miss, could you repeat that? So no bacon on the canadian bacon and pineapple? Yes, okay. Is that all? You're total will be $12.70. Yes. The pizza should be there in about a half hour. You have a good day too miss, thank you."

I let out a sigh as I hung up the phone. Just once I would love to hear an order of a plain cheese pizza. The nice simpleton would forever have my heart. I mean, yeah I've only been working for about a week but seriously, how is it possible to not have gotten such a simple order?

It was just about time for break when Ansem showed up behind me. "Roxas." I nearly jumped in surprise and quickly turned around. "I need you to run more deliveries."

My first thought at hearing that was of course, fuck my life. I did not want to run deliveries. I wanted to stay inside the warm pizza parlor despite the stench of cheese and tomatoes, and not ride into or against the wind on the stupid scooter thing. It my very least favorite part of the job.

But, it was, in fact, my job to do what the boss wanted. Twenty-one years old and in a pizza parlor, thinking about it started to making me feel a little less impressed with myself. However I quickly reminded myself it was only until after college, than I could stop smelling so awful.

In a response I sighed and nodded my head, then quickly forced a small smile onto my face.

Minutes later, aka two pizza deliveries later, I was once again staring at a very familiar apartment building.

For a long moment I just sat there and stared with that, 'are you fucking shitting me' expression on my face. However, being the professional I was, I did not let the fact I was standing outside the apartment building of a man I wished to never see again only four days after our last encounter affect me any longer. I parked my scooter, grabbed the pizza boxes, and headed to the apartment doors. I pressed the button to be buzzed up expecting to hear Axel's voice, but instead was greeted with someone who sounded much more chipper.

"Pizza guy?!" If I'd known better I would say he was peeing his pants from excitement. But, I really didn't know better, so the picture of this guy in my mind was priceless.

Again, being the professional I was, I just recited the lame slogan, "Ansem's Pizza Parlor, for all your cheesy dreams, pizza delivery."

I heard an eager squeal and was then instantly buzzed up. Of course, I was still very confused as to why Axel hadn't answered to his own apartment. Sure, I had only been there once, to deliver a pizza, like now, but… it was usually the people who owned the place who answered the door. I didn't think anyone could tolerate living with that asshole for long. Instead of further questioning it, I hurried up to the room and quickly knocked on the door once I was all the way up.

A few moments later the door swung open, revealing a tall dirty blonde with, well, to be quite frank, a mullet. He did seem rather… hyper at first glance and second glance and well, third glance…

"$20.36 is the total." I said to him with a quick glance at the receipt.

He itched his stomach, he was shirtless, I was going to consider it a pattern in Axel's apartment to open the door shirtless. I really tried hard not to look at the marks all over his neck. Call me 'optimistic' but I was pretty sure they weren't from any abuse. "Once second." He responded with a goofy smile, and then he proceeded to run back into the house, chanting something as he did.

Impatiently I tapped my foot. These people needed to know how to pay up front, not have me have to wait for them. Some people just were so rude. Figures this was a friend of Axel's, or more than a friend by the looks of it. Ew, I had let that man drive me home. I probably got some weird disease by sitting on that seat. Just thinking of it made me long for a shower.

It wasn't too long later that I heard the boy nearly scream from the other room, "Damn Ax, trying to get in his pants or what?!"

I didn't hear anything else until the boy was back at the door, reaching his hand out to give me the money. I handed the blonde the pizzas and finally looked at the amount he'd given me. I guess what the boy had yelled from the other room should have been a clue but… "I think you made a mistake. This is thirty dollars."

"Axel thought it wasn't in good taste to come to the door in his current… uh… current state…? Anyways, he said the extra is for you. Thanks for the pizzas, have a good day!" He finished before shutting the door in my face.

Another pattern that I've noticed happens at Axel's apartment, the door always seems to be shut in my face.

At least it was over though, and I didn't entirely mind the ten dollar tip, not saying it wouldn't be better coming from someone other than a jack ass. But, you win some you lose some.

With a sigh, I headed back to my hateful scooter and back to work.

For the next week I continued to make deliveries and somehow each time I made deliveries his house was always one of the stops on the list. And every time I got a ten dollar tip from the guy… or from the guy that was at his house that day. Which was practically always a different guy. If it was suppose to impress me somehow, it didn't. Also, ordering pizza everyday is kind of a turn off all on its own. Not that anything the red head did was a turn on…

I didn't understand why _I_ was the only one that got stuck on delivery duty either. I mean, normally it was supposed to be Larxene's job. Or at least it was before I started getting them all. The whole thing was starting to confuse me.

And when Ansem once again told me I was to make a delivery I was sure to ask. "Is there a reason that I'm-"

"You were asked for. Just thought it was one of your friends. It's good to have friends. Builds character. Anyways, out you go. Don't want the pizzas to get cold." Ansem replied, nearly pushing me out the door.

I let out a sigh, but for the sake of my job, did as I was told.

But this time I didn't even get through the slogan before getting buzzed up. Hoping to end the encounter faster I quickly pulled the door open and nearly galloped up the stairs. I began to knock on the door, rather annoyed with having to come to this god forsaken place for the eighth day straight. It made me really wish I didn't have to work weekends.

So, needless to say I wasn't the most cheerful when the door opened. But to my surprise, it was actually Axel himself at the door. The time to confront him was now.

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**Kuri; **Woo! New story! Okay, so we might have been really slacking in our other stories. But, we will update those someday soon and the sequel to RVW too… yeah! We just got distracted. As bad as it sounds, I write better during class. I keep rambling, but I like talking to you guys. ALSO! This will be Akuroku, don't worry~

**Kitii; **Yeah, basically we took the summer off for _other_ things… yeah. And uh… like Kuri said… our other story… if anyone cares… will update soon. However… might not be our best update. We just need our inspiration back. Not my favorite.

**Kuri;** Yeah! Uhm, it's not that late at all and I'm exhausted. Don't you love how we write _my_ favorite. ;3 My butt hurts more than Kitii's, just saying.

**Kitii; **I don't think you had to share the pain of our… bottoms… ANYWAYS, hope you enjoy. It will get better… not that it's not good already, much sweat and tear and work went into this chapter… just kiddin'… yeah… uh…

**Kuri; **Read and review please! It's my ultimate favorite. Until next time… bye!

**Kitii; **We even sat through a _very_ awkward conversation with some drunken lady who kept trying to read what we were writing and tell us how beautiful it was that we were writing and it made me want to cry!!!!1!

**Kuri; **She had a few too many. ANYWAYS, this is too long. So, Bye!


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